A friends DISEASE

She waited for a stranger,
and fear took her mind;
a stranger who would curse
as from behind he penetrated her.

She waited prepared for a stranger:
for she knew
the pain and disease
his harm will bring to her.

Instead she saw a friend,
in secure arms she let her guard down.
he threw her to cold floor,
and did the strangers deed.

Now with a friends disease,
she forgives and tries to live right.

OUTSTRETCHED

I saw your hands outstretched,

your palms open and warm:

In them you offered hope,

hope that your love will be lasting.

I heard you say,

'do not my advances refuse,

for with intentions fair,

I approach with a lovefilled heart'

Your mouth of words tired:

Those words that should have been calm,

but my troubles were even severer

for the poor bliss of your words to settle

My insecurities raged onwards:

your palm I refused, and my way I went.

UNCERTAINTY

I fear wandering
For no matter where I tread
Every path
To the unknown leads

My quest for knowledge confuses me
Its as though
The more I insist on knowing
The less I learn

Ive sought freedom
But in my mind, the thought resounds:
‘Possibly before we are free
We should be fearful’’

My life revolves around uncertainty
Only the certainty of nothingness reassures….

nEW bEgGininGs....

This year has been one with many begginings for me: I got featured in my very first print magazine, I started my first proper job, I started a retirement savings account, ..........

A liFE BY CHAnce

From a father to his son was said

'Your life be by chance
for your existence to your parents
none but pain a thousand fold brings'

Of love... of mercy upon her heart
your mother with you a chance took.
But when with years you grow,
my own chance I shall take

In the rivers deep I shall cast you,
and with delight, hope by chance you drown'

wONDERING...

Doth that man love God who would be willing to see
Christ in a crown of thorns
while for himself, he craves a crown of laurels?

Was Christ not ascended unto the throne by the cross,
should anyone messenger/ follower
expect to ascend his throne
on the shoulders of applauding crowds?

Weigh fast the cost,
if you do not will to bear Christs burden,
return to your labour and machinery,
be swift, hastily make profit

But let me whisper in your ears,
'What shall it profit a man
if he gains the whole world and loses his own dear soul?'

oF lEARNING... oF cHRIST

Lately, my relationship with Christ has bothered me... Its not that I don't love Him as much as I used to, it's not that I don't feel His prescence as much as I used to, It's just that I realise I have become increasingly fearful: I've let that familiar fear creep in, I've let my friends point to my insecurities that I hardly see my accomplishments- and in all humility, I am a quite accomplished fellow, I've let rejection from friends/ loved ones form value judgement as to how I perceive myself...

I just saw a post on http://www.hajel.blogspot.com/ titled 'Bring It On' and it's inspired me: every one deserves to read it. I have resolved to start afresh with Christ: to look beyond my past woes and look to His truth that reassures/ refreshes me daily... I have resolved to rekindle my faith: faith in family, in my friends, in my relationships, in myself... I have resolved to embrace His adversities as long as they are His will... I have decided to let go of fighting my demons, cast them to Him for He says the battle is His and the victory is mine, I've resolved that I wouldn't shrink or hide my accomplishments just so others would feel better, for theres a saying: ' by letting your light shine, you give others permission to do the same...

tHIS pRESENT dARKNESS....

Engulfing... Consuming

the darkness that from this news comes

robs me

of the option of grief

Swifty. Sadly

Everyday I face the same truth

Pain is like a thief in the night

Deep, quiet, persistent, unfair...

Puzzled. Illogical

How do I make sense of such a random act?

In my grief I realize,

death is sad and final...

To me it once was said

'To honour our lost loves, we must live our own lives well'

Tears

hOW lOVELY fLORENCE mUST bE...

By the Hudsons front she gazed,
faithfully, it's reflection gave back all her loveliness:
a queen in floral flawnessness, a sight that left me,
by the freshest summer greens,
green with envy....