Friday, January 30, 2009

.... RELIGION.... WHAT RELIGION?...

Yes, it’s totally true, I have become some sort of local champion: helping people look through their poems. Critiquing them. Correcting them. Interpreting them.

I had a friend over at my house today. We looked through a bunch of his passionate poetry together. I’d spot lapses and areas of strength.- Maybe someday, I’d make a living off being a critique. Lol!

Overcome by some sort of excitement, he hurled question after question. Just as he turned to leave, he asked a question that hit me.
‘What’s your religion?’ My reaction was totally classic: ‘What does religion have to do with poetry?’ I asked, conveniently shoving the question aside. He pondered for a quick second and left.
I have often wondered why people get fascinated at my religion. Couldn’t people just be friends, yet know some things are sacred. For me, the concept of religion is personal; however, for my poetry friend, and other friends who would like to know my religion, I would disclose all of it here.
My father is a Christian, my mother is a Muslim. I have had to most of my life deal with the duality of religion. Sometime in Middle school, I decided I would take the good parts of both religions. Just live right according to the standards of God.
However, the thing about non conformity to any one religion is though I see a bit of myself in every religion. I still feel to a large extent detached, alienated from them. Without an obligation to any one religion, I am at some level apart, free, and in some strange way, alone.
I am more a Christian though: Christianity comes as a choice not an imposition: all my questions as regards faith, spirituality, existence… have not magically been resolved/ answered by the Christian God. But in my unbelief, I feel Jesus’ and not Allah’s spirit coming upon me.
It’s a choice to submit myself to his will. Just as it’s my choice to at some point remain free. Just as it’s my choice to discover the truths of God, not within the confinement of any religion, be it Christianity or Islam. Those still with a lot of questions, I consider myself spiritual and NOT RELIGIOUS….

Friday, January 16, 2009

aFTER tHE dAY tHAT wAS cHRISTMAS...


My step brothers are in bed: Abraham lies next to the bicycle he was only too glad to believe mystically appeared by some divine illusion called Santa. Paul sleeps in his new Spider man themed bed sheets: presents are now possessions. Wrapping paper is bagged and disposed of. Left over turkey awaits our next meal: Turkey, you cannot even begin to imagine my excitement…

As I look at the clock, its past twelve - every normal person should be asleep by now, but no- not me, I’m far from being normal.

I’m deep in thought. Thinking. What would have been of the world without this week? I realize the world is different this week. This week temporarily transformed the world: the magic of the season engulfs me afresh, constantly reminding me of what I should be: of what God intends…

I temporarily forget my compulsion with winning, wooing, hustling: trading forex. Lol. The season is a special one to me, for more than any season, I think of Christ; of his love. his misgivings. His mercy…

For just a few hours, the center of my attention is Christ. Some of us who pass the year doubting, suddenly see him. Those who curse by his name, pause to use it in praise. For a few hours, we lay down our burdens, our failures, our successes… we all marvel at his majesty…

Christmas is gone, in a few hours I would be scrubbing tiles stained from numerous guests. I would be taking down the star adorning our Christmas tree- I’ve always tried to convince my dad that we don’t need a tree… Thankfully, I would dispose of my step mum’s special Ponche that had too much alcohol in it. Lol. Very soon life would be normal again… I would return to the role of a male Cinderella!

But for the moment, the magic of the season engulfs me. Maybe that’s the sole reason I’m awake: I want to feel Christ’s mystery a little more. I want to pray I would witness him still in the coming year. I want to offer prayers and thanks for the safety of my family. I want to thank God for my supportive friends. For my blog…

Through it all, I can’t help but think: If remembering Christ on a Decembers day brings so much joy to me. Imagine how joyful my life would become if I remembered him everyday…